Dan, you did the right thing by leaving that note, and don't let anyone try to make you feel bad about it for one second. Bernie, I hope I don't have to park near you ever. It may be a bit more trouble to try to handle it one-on-one with the lady, but it's worth a try and, as you said,
you can still handle this through insurance so you've got nothing to lose and definitely something to gain. Even if the lowest estimate she'll accept is $400 more than your estimate, you'll probably still come out ahead in the long run.
Imagine the roles were reversed, and some dorky kid backed into
your BMW.

Would you agree to whatever random lowball estimate he could come back with? Hell no! You'd want to get the job done
right, by someone you
trust, right? It's not
your fault that your hood got scratched up, why in the world should you have to put up with a bad repair job, or
even risk it? Say you agreed to the low estimate and a bad job was done, what would be your recourse?
Obviously you want to be on guard for "gold plated" estimates, but I would say her position gives her the right to specify who does the repair. It'll probably be expensive, so be prepared for that. Bernie's advice about knowing your deductible is his one statement I
would recommend you listen to. That is your safety net in this situation, and it's a good one.
Again, you did the right thing, so feel good about that. If you need more incentive, there might have been a witness to the incident who could've gotten your plate, then you'd be looking at a lot more than an increased insurance premium.
_________________
Carl Fisher
Be Cool to the Pizza Dude:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... Id=4651531